Thursday, July 26, 2018

As in Interrupting

July 26, 2018



Interrupting as Conversational Domination

This is the first in a series of essays on the death of  the "it" paradigm and the birth of something better.

There is a current world paradigm that, while in some ways seems to be spreading, in other more powerful ways is definitely on the wane. I call it "it". The "it" paradigm is based on force--forcing oneself or others. For example, war is part of  the "it" paradigm, but "it" also shows up in many small ways.

I want to share one of the small ways I am noticing "it" in my life lately--it is in the conversational battle strategy of "interrupting."

I have been aware of conversational interrupting as a domination technique for a long time. I noticed it first predominantly as a technique used by many men. Then I began to notice it as a technique used by women who were trying to join in the patriarchal paradigm--male wannabees. The patriarchal paradigm is extant world wide and is subscribed to and co-created by men and women equally. It  has been around for many thousands of years--but once was not. In fact for most of the 2 million years of human history we had another more feminine paradigm. But that's another story.

As women have tried to become "more" within this paradigm they have envisioned that "more" as having, doing and being more like men. They think of that as "being equal"--and they want that. Few have envisioned a very different paradigm in which the genders are not equal, but quite different. They have different roles and abilities which are held within each other. Both are needed, but in right relationship.

So now I am thinking of a woman lawyer I had meeting with once many years ago. She was young, energetic and very forceful....and she continually interrupted. I finally interrupted her and pointed out what she was doing and that I didn't like it. I told her she seemed to be assuming that she knew what I was going to say next--and jumped there ahead of me--and was usually wrong. I told her I was not garrulous and could come to my point quickly, but I would appreciate it if she would give me the courtesy of allowing me to complete my thoughst. She looked genuinely shocked...and she stopped interrupting and began listening more attentively. It felt very much better. Doctors are perhaps even more notorious for interrupting than are lawyers.

That was the first time I had ever stood up for myself in regards to being interrupted. Later on I tried it with men. Usually I would be in conversation with some woman in one room, when a man would walk in and immediately begin talking--interrupting our conversation as if it were not at all important and whatever he had to say was, of course, extremely importantly. Ordinarily when this happens both women stop talking and give him their attention as if he had the right to it--which he believes strongly. However, I began to not allow this. I would interrupt him and say something like--"Louise and I were in the middle of a conversation; could you please wait until we are done." He would be shocked and she would usually be shocked as well but usually pleased.

However, just recently I was talking with a woman and was sharing something very significant to me...and that I thought was to her as well since she had expressed it so well in her art...but a man walked over and started talking to her--interrupting what I was saying at a crucial moment. I interrupted back and said we were talking and would he wait please. He looked shocked. She looked unruffled, turned her attention to him and ignored me. I got up and left.

Later I realized that it was her way of saying no to hearing something that was "too much" for her. People send various signals when they are beginning to hear something they are not ready for. Their cell phone might ring, or their attention wanders, they yawn...or they call someone in (telepathically and subconsciously) to interrupt the conversation. So I am learning a balance between not allowing force to be used on me and not forcing a subject on others that they are not ready for. So interrupting can mean a couple of different things. It can be invited as "victim" or as a statement of preference.

Interrupting happens in other relationships as well--dominance still being an issue though. I have  observed some parents correcting their children about interrupting them, but then they constantly interrupt their child, without apology.

Some people do talk too much and when I find myself getting bored by someone who is dominating a conversation I usually just walk away. But occasionally I ask them if they realize they are talking without allowing my response--or with interrupting and ignoring my attempted response. But more and more I am learning to allow everything. If people are wanting to dominate me by interrupting when the conversational ball is in my court, then I just allow it, but stop looking at them. But if they still don't get it-- that they have lost my interest--I just walk away.

"it" can only exist if we feed it and by not allowing force during conversation we will be starving it out and creating space for something better. The "better," in terms of conversation will be a sort of inner listening while at the same time listening to the other person. By inner listening I mean, I am listening, not to my own thoughts, but to my feelings. I stay aware of my feelings as I listen attentively.

Many people listen to another for a moment and as soon as they hear something that reminds them of something in their life, they free associate to that, interrupt and tell their story. That's not "better." By "better" I mean a type of conversation that includes Inner Listening on both people's parts. This sort becomes a lovely game or dance. It becomes a source of new valuable information for both. Both are actually dancing with their Inner Being, even as they dance with each other.

Thus when we have starved out the "it paradigm" from existence, conversation will be vastly more enjoyable as each one instinctively knows what to say next--a statement? a question? an anecdote? and they will know exactly how long to talk and when it is time for silence or for the other person to speak. Musically speaking its the difference between chaotic combative dissonance and harmonious inspiration.






Sunday, July 22, 2018

How Inner Government Will Replace Outer Government


How Inner Government Will Replace Outer Government

Democracy is not the be all and end all of human social structure. The next step is Inner Government. Outer government has proved too imperfect and now many people are wanting something better...and it is beginning to manifest.

Inner Government is spiritual. It might even have been already imagined in the literature of science fiction. But it definitely is being moved towards by millions of people these days...each in their own ways.

This is the final frontier of “government”...as far as I can see. It has many refinements and permutations, but its over-arching indication is that it is within and not without.

Now this will be a big step for many. But there are many who are moving towards it by baby steps and from many different directions. Millions and millions. And I believe that we are being Divinely guided—all of us—no matter what our belief system –religious, ethical, philosophical, political, atheistic or whatever.

We have all been asking for something better in the world and numerous attempts to create something better on the physical plane of reality have been attempted...all with some success...to my mind. Even Hitler was an idealist and wanted something better. He dreamed of a “final Solution” to all the problems of the world. To him the problem with the present social structure was the presences of impure races—Jews, blacks and others. He thought that if he could just get rid of them and enforce his view point all over the world that it would be a better place.

Trump has a similar idea. He is xenophobic too, as are most of his supporters. He sees invasions by “aliens” as the biggest threat to the purity of America.  The pure Aryan race, as Hitler would have called it) is being diluted by people different from “us”-- white, male, common folks. Rich or poor—there are commoners, red necks, salt of the earth guys who are the rightful owners of America. He, nor Hitler really saw women as “aliens” exactly. They don’t want them gone, but just subservient and willing to serve the white males in whatever way he wants.

The only difference I see, at this point anyway, is that while Hitler wanted to change and dominate the whole world with his vision, Trump is more of an egoist. He wants power for himself and feels a kinship to other “rulers” who feel the same as he does—e.g. Putin.  In their egotism (not idealism as Hitler mainly displayed—although he certainly was an egoist as well), and most egoists are also control freaks, they are imperialists openly or covertly—as are both Putin and Trump. Trump right now is grooming Americans for attacking N. Korea with nuclear bombs by filling the news with terrible stories of harsh treatment by the N. Koreans of both foreigners and civilians. He wants everyone to know how awful they treat people, so he will be applauded, supported and justified when he attacks them.

That will be the superficial motivation behind his imperialistic aims...the spread of Communism no longer being adequate. But his real aim is inner and psychological—just as everyone’s are. He is angry and frightened from having been raised in a left-brained culture that squelched so much of his natural humanity. And he is reacting in the most common—but incorrect—ways that humans do to the oppression he was subjected to as a child. He is paying it forward. He is trying to get rid of his anger and pain by finding others similar to himself and blaming them; making them the target of his anger. He is hoping to obliterated this most recent target—N. Korea (which is doing exactly the same psychological thing –a match literally made in heaven—and is subconsciously hoping to get rid of his inner angst—his feelings of powerlessness, fear and anger by expressing them on someone very much like himself. Someone who feels that power is outside of the self and that the only choice is to be a victim or a perpetrator. Both victims and perpetrators are perfect complements to each other—again—both believing that power is outside of the self—and you are a winner or a loser.

All wrong.

But just now, as I washing out the compost bucket I had a revelation. They happen during the most mundane tasks—washing dishes, taking a shower, ironing, sweeping.  

What I suddenly understood how the seemingly HUGE step from and belief in outer Government to true and ever more complete awareness of the already extant Inner Government will take place.

It will happen one person at a time—but that is enough—because enormous influence comes with ever growing awareness of Inner Government.

Inner Government, as I said above, already exists. Every single soul on the planet is already governed by it. However, once one becomes aware of this Inner Government, one becomes cooperative and much more effective in one’s participation in it. One is free to not believe in it and to oppose it, but eventually everyone realizes that they are opposing themselves in their highest form. And so they change from outer-directed to inner-directed and then things begin to get better for them. We all have an Inner Being, who is a vaster part of our self. This Self is extremely wise, loving, all seeing, compassionate, kind, patient, tolerant, allowing, understanding, knowledgeable and effective.

 I won’t say powerful, even though we are, at that level, but because that is such a loaded word in our left brain paradigm/. Power here means power over others. It means domination of people, Nature, space, Earth, outer space etc. etc. That is really just manipulation and is empty. Impotent. For the “others” you try to dominate are REALLY YOURSELF. And your personal self and your other-self can at best hold a gun to each other’s head. They will both pull the trigger at the same time. Always. One may die and go to the next level of reality above this one where things will be better, but where they will eventually have to face the fact that they just attempted to kill a part of themselves.

 Life is eternal. It is impossible to permanently kill anyone. But it is a TERRIBLE MISTAKE to kill anyone else for any reason—or to even use force of any kind against another. WE now glorify our warriors, but deep inside each of them knows that they have made a terrible mistake in killing anyone. They come home extremely traumatized. They drink, they do drugs, sex, over-work, they blame...and they hurt others to pass on their pain in a vain attempt to get rid of their inner guilt and anguish.

The only way to rid one’s self of those feelings is to go within to Inner Being—or to whatever Higher Power you believe in or suspect might exist and to ask them for help. Surrender to them. They know how to relieve your pain and to make things better for yourself and everyone.

But getting back to Inner Government. This state is has as its “ruler” your Inner Being. It is You in your finest form. There you are divine. We all have an Inner Being and all of our Inner Beings share a common Inner Being—God. Our personal inner being is our hot-line to God.

God has everything already perfectly organized and arranged for everyone’s best-mutual benefit.  There are no accidents of happenstances. Everything is amazingly coordinated/organized/orchestrated/choreographed. Everything is perfect already. If something bad happens to us it is usually because we shared a belief with our attacker or our misfortune. They were a mirror for us.

When something bad happens, we can take our emotions within and ask Inner Being to hold us while we feel them and to release us from them when the time is right—usually quickly. For Inner Beings quickly apprise us of the true nature of the event. They show us how to cash-in-on-it.

This is a very rewarding feeling. We feel great relief and appreciation for our Inner Being and for the even that occurred that seemed so awful. We learn from it and put the spiritual gold gained into our spiritual purse, our personal soul, which we can take with us on our eternal journey. We get richer and richer this way.

So the left brained paradigm we live in is very outer-directed—and misinformed. Basing our lives and trying to live from what we learn “out-there” leads to a great sense of futility and helplessness. Even if we win the lottery, or score the biggest business or political coup ever off of another, or a social coup or a criminal coup, or “win” a war, we will have gained nothing. It will feel empty very soon. The honey-moon will be over. In the words of Irving Berlin, as song by Marilyn Monroe “When you get what you want, you don’t want it.” She experienced this often in her life...especially with men who desired her strongly, then mistreated her and cast her aside—e.g. John and Ted Kennedy. Many believe they killed her they so did not want what they got. John Kennedy had his aides lead an endless string of whores in to his office via a secret door. None ever satisfied for more than a moment.

So many simply try for more...as in any addiction...love, money, marriages, relationships, higher level of schooling, new place to live, a new book, movie, friend,

 As AA says, “You can’t ever get enough of what you don’t need.”

So what do we need? Inner Government.

This government consists of a personal relationship with one’s Inner Being. The Divine, vaster , non-physical part of oneself that one accesses through feelings, emotions, bodily feelings, intuition, revelation, hunches, childlike performance of any of the arts, and dreams, trance, meditation, prayer—that is praying believing; expecting a yes,  staring at Inner Being for further guidance.

Even if you are terribly lost you can pray for something awful and still be led to a high answer.
It may be step by step. So even if say someone prayed to know the best way to kill their wife. Inner Being—if he/she is trusted by you and you listened to carefully—might say
IB: Allowing Everything, why do you want to kill her?
You: I hate her. But she has money and I’ll inherit if I can kill her secretly.
IB: Allowing Everything (so you don’t feel guilty about your feelings, which can stop the process) do you truly believe that inheriting her money is the best way to get money?
You: Yes.
IB: Can you trust me—who has infinite intelligence/effectiveness/love to find a better way for you to be free from her and for you to have the same amount of money...if not more?
You: Can you really do that?
IB: Absolutely.  It’s easier for me to do that than to allow you to kill her and inherit...although if you insist on that way I will allow it. You will feel guilty though, and you will experience consequences that are not happy, but I will allow it if you absolutely insist. For if you allow that its okay to kill others for money you will attract to yourself another who feels the same towards you. IT is the Law of Attraction.
You: Well, I don’t want that, so I will trust that you can give me more a lot more money and freedom from my wife.

And then Inner Being goes all around the world knowing that there is a cooperative being or event that can be the channel for your money and freedom.  Then soon (if your faith is strong) someone will appear and give you the money. or you will win it; or you’ll suddenly discover that your great aunt Mathilda’s painting on the wall is worth millions. If you have doubt it will still come, but just slower. And as for you being free of your wife, anything might happen. She might meet someone she likes better and divorce you; or have a change of heart and set you free; or suddenly die in a real car accident, or just ask for a long separation with an allowance to you. The possibilities are endless, but Inner Being will find the best one for you if you expect it.

So that is a personal example.

But let’s say you hate a group and want them gone—shut out or dead. They are aliens in your mind. You believe they are crowding into your country and sucking up tax dollars and contributing nothing and maybe are arrogant -- entitled-feeling as hell-- about it. Many people look at welfare mothers, blacks, elderly, female babies etc. as useless pariahs on society. They blame them for the dissolution of morals, and freedoms they want to keep or get back.

So such a person, once realizing they have an Inner Being—who stands for Inner Government—is petitioned for relief from these people he/she again might say:

IB: Allowing Everything, the real thing you want is freedom, security and a way to be rid of the angry/scared feelings you have inside of you. Getting rid of these groups won’t solve your problem.
But forgiving yourself for similar things you have done to yourself will help tremendously. It will solve your problem. So where inside of you do you feel like you are disempowering yourself? What are you forcing yourself to do?
You: Well, I force myself to hide my true feelings and force myself to go to a job a hate because I need the money, and I force myself to be nice to a lot of people who annoy me...or whom I even downright dislike.
IB: So force is “off”. Force against others and against yourself--off. But you learned it from your parents and your culture didn’t you. They said pushing yourself and others is necessary because we are all basically bad, lazy and sinful. Push yourself in school. Push yourself on the playing field. Push yourself in business. Push other people out of the way by tricks, or human laws, crime,
...whatever works. But force is not necessary ever. Allowing Me-- Inner Being-- all of the time in matters small and large will lead you to all that want in the easiest way. And when you get it you will want it. You will enjoy having it immensely for a long time.
You: But how can changing myself change others?
IB: We are all one being. Everything one being does—for good or evil, affects all others. Good stuff goes into a collective bank account of spiritual gold. Anyone can call on it. All individual successes are there. You can download their earned wisdom into your personal spiritual bank account and know how to do anything.
You: But what if they don’t know enough to ask for it and use it. What if I run into one of those folks.
IB: You won’t. The law of Attraction says that you will only attract others that are like yourself—or that you actively choose to be with. So don’t worry about that. The more you play with this the more effective (powerful) you will become in changing the whole world. You can change it all from within yourself—and still leave everyone with free will.

So that’s how Inner Government works. I got more on this but can’t recall it now. I’ll write more later. But Inner Government is not far away at all. It’s easier to install than you could believe from here--and the rewards are immediate. However, you can’t think your way to it. You have to invoke your vaster Inner Self—your Inner Being. He/She knows how to do it all. Your job is to have limitless faith in them—even when things don’t seem to be working out fast enough...continue with blind faith. It IS working in the larger picture and it WILL descend to the small picture. Everyone will see and enjoy this new easy way to get what we want for our self and for the world.