Why Trying to Control Others is a Bad Idea
August 9, 2018
I believe the world is changing from a "Forcing Everything" paradigm to an "Allowing Everything" paradigm. We are in a major paint-it-big-enough-and-bright-enough-and-nobody-sees-it paradigm shift. This shift is wonderful. Now, to give a clearer picture of the shift I am perceiving, I will divide this essay into three parts:
First: I will paint a picture of an extreme example of a card-carrying member of the old "Forcing Everything" paradigm--including why he (and we) signed up as members of that belief system.
Second: Then I will show how we all are carrying the same card, to one degree or another, at this stage of human psychological/spiritual evolution.
Third: Then finally I will describe the stage of human evolution we are just heading into--one in which "Allowing Everything" becomes the norm.
FIRST
Hitler is my example. As outrageous as it might seem, I think of Hitler as an idealist.Allow me to explain: He wanted a better life for himself and a better world for everyone. To do this clean-up he relied heavily upon an IDEA he had hit on in childhood. However, his idea was based in a false deduction he had struck on when he was sexually abused by his Jewish Uncle.
All children make false deductions. In addition, for some unknown reason children's deductions quickly become broad generalizations. For example, a person having been bitten by a dog in childhood will often grow into an adult who fears all dogs for the rest of their life. In Hitler's childhood, he was "bitten" by a Jew. He was forcibly invaded--body and soul--by an adult male Jewish relation. This became his intial target--Jews. However, later, his fear and hatred generalized to include other groups who were "different" from him.
His emotional response, as a child, undoubtedly, was the same sheer terror that most sexually abused children feel. It makes them feel as if the abuser/invader is the essence of all that is evil in the Universe and that it is out to take their soul--and never return it. It is beyond the powers-of-imagination of most non-abused adults to conceptualize or feel that degree and depth of soul-terror. This terror is so powerful that it oftentimes forces the soul-personality out of the body and back home to the larger happier reality we all come from. The child goes unconscious--just as someone does who is hit hard physically on the head. This is called dissociation. It's all part of the package we label “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder,” or PTSD.
Thus Hitler, as with most abused/traumatized children, after first feeling stark raving terror for some time--perhaps years--eventually felt rage--perhaps at puberty. (Anger is actually a step up from paralyzing fear.) At this point, many PTSD males turn their anger outward against others and females turn it inward against self. Males will want to control and destroy others, females to control and destroy themselves. That however, is a generalization and is not always the case.
Projection happens in both genders and the chosen object—selected during the deduction phase—is seen to be the underlying cause of the projectors problems. Their fear and anger is now subconscious—pushed out of the main focus of the consciousness—and into a paradigm box into which more and more false deductions are thrown—all based on false major premises.
PTSD Females tend to feel like victims and males like avengers. Hitler was an avenger. In addition, the most bizarre thing about this whole syndrome is that most people do not learn from their abuse, but instead PASS IT ON. Force was used on them and they will use force when they can, to try and get rid of the pain they carry deep in themselves. Hitler was forced to submit to his Jewish Uncles unwanted attentions/invasions/dominations and thus he went out to avenge himself and to make a better world for himself and others by using force against those he feared and hated—not just his Jewish Uncle—but all Jews—who to his child mind’s deductions were responsible for all the evil in his life and in the world. Therefore, his infantile logic told him he must set about assiduously ridding the world of Jews...and punishing them as he went.
Unfortunately, there were many people in Germany at the time with similar beliefs and feelings—coming from various forms of childhood abuse which is pandemic in our left-brain dominant world culture. Most all of the Germans were resonating together with Hitler. In addition, in my mind, none were more responsible for the holocaust than another; Hitler was the titular head of a nationwide paradigm. The Germans set about to rid the world of its chosen target--the identified problem—Jews. The Jews were the scapegoat for all the fear and anger that—not just in Germany--but in our worldwide culture at the time. The world is still wallowing in it today, to a large extent—although it is abating, in my estimation.
We all, as the human race, have signed on to the same thing Hitler, Germany and others subscribed to—it's called “Forcing Everything.” I also call it a left-brain paradigm (my short hand for a larger concept.) In general, we have over the past 6000 years in the West and 20,000 years in the East left off using the powers and propensities of our right brain and have put most of our consciousness-eggs into the left-brain basket.
The left-brain is the physical channel for the part of our consciousness that needs to look at the surface of things. It is our short range-thinking mind. It is closely connected to physical reality and what our five senses tell us is real. (We do have more senses --inner ones--that can come through the right brain). The left brain is predominantly outer-directed and it perceives “outer reality” as being objective and real. It prefers to use rational thinking and to make up many laws and rules by which to govern itself and others. It fears and ignores emotions and tries to stifle and control them in self and others. Nonetheless, the emotions rage on and have enormous impact on the left-brainers—but since they have consciously left them out of their awareness-egg-basket, they have very little understanding or control over them at all.
Unfortunately, most of our intelligence comes to us through the right brain—which the left has eschewed --and the powers of which it has attempted to co-opt.
As mentioned above, we do have more senses, but they are right brained and inner. The right brain connects us to our vast non-physical consciousness. It has the big picture. It has the big power or ...as I prefer to call it—effectiveness. It does not try to control itself or others in terms of oppression and suppression of emotions. It values emotions tremendously as the guidance system we all came equipped with--but were taught to ignore. It knows of its own Oneness with all and so does not want to use force against anyone or anything. It knows that in the big picture, everything is coordinated and orchestrated and choreographed. It is a vast structure that supports freedom and well-being. Love is rampant there –as is bliss—true bliss—not just conceptual.
SECOND
Therefore, we all are not unlike Hitler in our subscription to the “Force Everything” paradigm. We make up rules and laws for ourselves; or we accept the rules and laws of others—most of which were based on false major premises, generalizations, deductions made out of fear-driven, left brain limited perceptions etc. etc.
We, the human race, have chosen to run on one cylinder in an eight cylinder vehicle by eschewing the powers of the right brain channel and the higher consciousness that can come through it if we open the door and invite it in. Women in general have had some slight advantage in accessing this part of themselves; we speak of women’s intuition. However, women, these days, having forced their way into the old boys club of the left-brain are now card-carrying members of the “Force Everything” paradigm as well.
However, women have forced their way into the military, business and politics ...with males resisting like mad.
I have much personal experience with this part of the syndrome--as I tried to get in for a long time. However, I am finally coming to realize that my difficulty in getting into the old boys club was a gift from The Universe--and I should not try to force those who don't want me to accept me. It may sound like sour grapes, but truly, there is another better life outside of the left brain, masculine paradigm of what is good, allowed and worthy of pursuit. In addition, the right brain paradigm (which will include the left brain powers as well) is very, VERY different—and better. However, we needed to go through this—as both victims and perpetrators in the playing out of using force and being excessively outer-directed.
Here’s an example from my own life:
I wanted to be a lawyer. I had scored high on the SATs—over 1400—and my scores on the LSAT’s (law) were lower—I thought. However, I applied to U. Maine Law and received an invitation from the dean to meet with him. I walked into his office. He stood up and offered his hand, which he used to hold mine very firmly while he spoke. He said, “Don’t bother to sit down. You did not get in. Your scores were too low.” Then, he escorted me to the door and shut it firmly behind me. This was 1971. I was shocked, and very disappointed. A few months later, I was at a cocktail party to which many lawyers had been invited. At one point, I found myself standing in a circle of men. I asked the one next to me what he did. He said he was a lawyer. I said, “Oh I wanted to be a lawyer. I applied to U.ME Law, but I could not get in.” He asked why. I said, “My scores were too low.” He asked what they were, and I told him. At that point, the whole circle of six or seven men burst out laughing. I asked why. The man next to me said. “I went to U.ME law, as did all these men, and my scores were NO WHERE NEAR WHAT YOURS WERE!” And they all set to laughing again. I asked why the dean would tell me mine were too low, and my new friend said, “Oh that’s just Dean _____. He hates women. Doesn’t want ‘em in his law school. They all set to laughing again and I walked away dumbfounded and numb.
Hearing this story, some people have asked me why I didn’t sue. Answer-- It didn’t occur to me. I just took it as yet one more blow in a culture that diminshed women. I had experienced much similar discrimination. I accepted defeat...again. However, this time I allowed it to lead me to more.
It led me to ask myself what I really wanted to do...and the answer was --study spirituality. And so, by not smashing my head against a door that was closed to me—or would only open with force-- I stumbled onto an extremely rewarding path in life--one meant for me. Many mysteries have been revealed to me on this path. It’s worth 20 law degrees to me, for I now know the few basic laws of the Universe and am slowly coming to be able to apply them to myself for my own best benefit. I have come to understand many of the basic causes—and solutions—for the ills that plague our outer–directed, left brained world. I have avoided many of them by taking the course of least resistance. I have learend to allow the old boys club and leave it alone. That entity holds little interest for me anymore—that culturally constructed reality. There is much suffering within the walls of that men’s and male-wannabees’ club. I have truly found the club I belong to by going within and I go within by using my right brain. And I am learning masses of valuable skills—skills I call spiritual gold—the only gelt you can take with you into the beyond.
So I look at myself and others and I see that we are forcing ourselves all the time--yes, I still do it to myself, but less so.) We force ourselves to go to work when we don’t want to. We force ourselves to accept outer authorities and their punitive or debilitating measures. We force our children to go to school and study what “authorities” say they should study. We force ever-increasing mountains of laws, rules, and regulations on ourselves and each other.
Draco was mild compared to how we treat ourselves and other’s these days.
We force ourselves to eat foods we don’t like. We force ourselves to not eat foods we enjoy and in quantities we don’t like. We end up feeling deprioved. As a nation, we approve of and use force on other countries and individuals--as well as many of our own citizens. And we allow that we will be recipients of the same. War is allowed in our world. Domination is considered de-riguer and interrupting in conversation (a domination technique) has become the norm. Statistically, most of the interrupting-domination is done by males towards females. But adults towards children, male to male and female to female is common. Least common is female interrupting male. Landlords use feudalistic and Draconian domination techniques towards tenants. The list goes on and on.
THIRD
Nonetheless, in my spiritual path I have been led to see that a better world is coming. ALLOWING EVERYTHING is coming. This course of action is based on three main spiritual laws.
1) All is Within
2) The Law of Attraction
I am just at the beginning of my learning about this course of action so I can only sketch it in. Each person will eventually come to understand its efficacy and then this planet, and many other realities, will be transformed.
To explain a little, one more aspect of the left-brain perceptions is that it sees itself as separate from all others. Its own individuality and independence and freedom are supreme to it. It doesn’t realize that by trying to rule without the Feminine right brain it is putting itself in prison—or hell. It is limiting itself severely when it only identifies with the left-brain channel of consciousness.
The right brain is very comfortable with paradox. Within its paradigm/reality we can all have our cake and eat it too. My best benefit is your best benefit, but it must be seen through a larger perspective, not the short-range mind of the intellectual/rational/delusional left brain. (It can look inward and see things more clearly.)
There is complete freedom here and everywhere. We can try whatever we can conceive of, but there will be consequences—for good or bad—that will inform us of whether we are working towards only our short-range conception of our personal good, or for a larger holistic good that includes and guarantees good for everyone. And since everyone is ultimately ourself, we cannot lose by moving in the direction that our right brain/intuitive Feminine mind invites us to.
No one is ever forced by their larger, deeper Inner Self to do anything. That Self only quietly invites. But whatever we ask for we will get. Our vaster Inner Self tries to give us as little as possible of what we don’t really want and lots of more of what we do really want. But we can force our way past the wisdom of our Inner Being and persist in our self-destructive/other destructive courses.
Force is "off."Trying to control others is "off." Allowing Everything is "on." And by “Allowing Everything" to our vaster Inner Being we will truly get the best of everything for ourselves and others. There is enough for everyone. There is no need for competition for seemingly limited resources or power (effectiveness). Resources are unlimited. All effectiveness is readily available within ourselves—especially once we begin to get to know and identify with our Inner Being. Through that connection we learn the amazing power of our mind. And we come to understand who we really are—within ourselves and in relation to so-called “others.”
The path is amazing and we can begin by understanding our own personal power and by not allowing ourselves to be dominated by others. There is always a way to get what we truly desire without being "against" others.We can stop believing in an objective external rock-solid reality and to understand how plastic, inner and malleable true reality is. If someone persists in trying to dominate us we can allow that they are doing that; we can allow that their behavior is “off”; and we can allow that there is better; and we can allow that our Inner Being is on the job bringing it to us; all we need to do is stay open and receptive in faith as to the power and goodness of our inner Being—and everyone’s!
So I truly see a paradise coming. I know it is coming. But we will all have to play our part by ending force in every way we can. Stop forcing ourselves to do things our bodies or emotions resist. Stop pushing or forcing others. Trust ourselves and others—we are all being held in a state of grace. And learn to LOVE more and more—first ourselves and then others. A much bigger brighter future cannot help but arrive if we can do these things.
No comments:
Post a Comment